Was there ever a point where you felt that weren't gonna make it work, like it wasn't gonna happen? &gt;&gt; Yeah, on and off. We had our moments. We used to have this thing about personal training when I was doing it, when you work for individual people like that on an hourly basis, right, you're being paid for the hour that they're with you. And so if you're comfortable living is 15 clients, doing 25 sessions a week, and that's what you need to kind of like be safe and cormfotable, you actually have to have 20 plus clients, because somebody is gonna cancel every week, and somebody else is gonna decide that they want to do it on their own, so it's always this kind of coming and going. So the best case is you're working more than you want to, and when someone leaves you're kind of dropping down to where you wanna be. And consulting is very much like that. It's a boom and bust kind of a thing where everything can be going wonderfully and then somebody belly ups or they decide they can't find the money to build the thing that they were raising money to build and then that piece of your income goes away. So the spots where I think we got nervous and were worried about, were spots where my income was like that. &gt;&gt; How do you deal with those scary moments? &gt;&gt; Be scared, get over it. [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; It's the best way. &gt;&gt; [LAUGH] You know, there's a Swedish saying that is fear gives small things a big shadow, right? So if you're looking at a gigantic thing, and wondering how am I going to handle this gigantic thing, right? What you're not doing is figuring out what the small things are that you can work at right now. So that's always where I put my head, it's like if I have a gigantic thing that I'm worried about, I just figure out what it is I can be doing right now to chip away at it. Every big thing is made of small pieces. 

If you're interested in something, find the people who are involved in that thing and reach out to figure out how you can work together. People are always willing to work with you if they know that you'll put in the hard work to learn, grow, and develop whatever it is you're working on. For my industry specifically, I suggest that you read a lot of books and get to know process and the industry. Know it better than everyone else, be passionate and knowledgable, and let that show.

I was working in real estate in Chicago when the housing market collapsed. At the same time, I was tired of living in such a huge city with my young kids. So, my family and I moved and I pursued a career change.

I had to leave my family behind in Chicago for 6 months while I figured out graduate school in Michigan. We've also had to move around a lot because of the nature of my job. It gets hard but I'm now at a job where I can remain in place for a while.

I help to run and troubleshoot our distilling equipment. I also spend a lot of time making sure my teams know how the equipment works to make the same product every day. When my teams are ready, I spend time giving them the creative confidence they need in order to design products rather than just making products on equipment they already know how to operate. When I get calls from our sales team about forecasted sales, I plan the corresponding production, down to how much grain we need to plant.

Master Distiller

That's a big risk. It's not okay to make mistakes.

Fear

Dealing With Fear By Breaking It Into Smaller Pieces

Putting myself back in those moments of trying to figure out who I was, I had this sense that I was following a script, the career that whatever it was. How much do you think your mother's death contributed to your sense that that you couldn't control the script. &gt;&gt; Well, I know for a fact that none of us can control the script, I know for a fact tragedies help to sharpen the sense of mortality which we spend most of our lives pretending doesn't exist. We all believe that an exception will be made in our case, and we're gonna live forever and it just ain't true, in fact, it's a whole Hallmark of adulthood that we accept that mortality. But having illness and death at that early age makes that terrible understanding present, I don't know any other way to say this, but you wouldn't be here talking to me if my mother hadn't died. I would not be the filmmaker that I am, had my mother not suffered this terrible illness and died. I was once asked by a sociologist what her greatest gift was to me and I wept as I said it and I didn't mean that I wanted her to die, but her greatest gift was dying. It forced me into survival mode that actually gave me a kind of impetus to do what I've been able to do. That seems a horrible, horrible thing to say and I would in an instant trade all of it, to have her present to see her grandchildren and her great grandchildren. But having the reality of that random chaos that cells metastasized gave me opportunities that I've tried to not just seize in a selfish way, but seize in a way that is always conscious of that place that I came from. The terrified little boy that couldn't sleep at night waiting for his mom to come home from the hospital or would sit in the living room looking at the corner window up at the top of the stairs hoping that those set of headlights turning in where my dad and my mom coming back. Blowing out every candle after she died at every birthday, wishing for only one thing into adulthood, and taking a long time to do it. &gt;&gt; So who gets you through that? &gt;&gt; I've got a grand daughter, my mother's name was Leila I didn't call her that, I called her mom or mommy, but all the years since 1965, even before when she was sick and dying her name was draped in black crepe. My oldest daughter who never met her grandmother, of course, named her daughter, Leila. And now that name no longer has black crepe on it, and you begin to realize that none of us get out of it alive but we live forever in the things that we create and the children that go on. In my family We have a story my second daughter Lily was terrified when she was wanting to have a vacuum cleaner, it was impossible to vacuum a room or a floor. When she was around, she had to be sleeping out of the house in another room, and one day my wife was vacuuming with this loud roaring monster of a machine. And Lily walked into the room, walked over and sat down on the vacuum cleaner, and our family sitting on the vacuum cleaner is a hugely necessary component of progress of growth in our lives. We all have to do this we all know what it means, where instead of taking a convenient expedited way out, which we do way too often anyway, no matter who we say we are, that somehow to just suddenly face it and fear it and your fear and master it as she did. So for us, sitting on the vacuum cleaner becomes not a challenge, but it becomes a symbol of transcendence, it becomes a symbol of how somebody is able to escape the specific gravity of whatever bad stuff has happened to them or that they feel could happen to them. And so much of anxiety, for example, is fear of the future, it's not an actual thing, Thomas Jefferson said, how much pain has caused us the evil which has never happened. Which is a way of saying, stay here, concentrate on what it is now and as you take that step, they take each step with you worry about how am I ever gonna do this? How am I ever gonna finish that film, how am I ever gonna to raise that child, how am I ever gonna overcome that, you're paralyzed by that fear by that anxiety. But you stay present and understand that, that the anxiety in itself is causing evils as Thomas Jefferson would say that aren't actually happening, we fear the worst and more often than not the worst doesn't happen. Now in some cases in my case the worst did happen, it happened and I've had to spend a lifetime, and I will never be free of it, of what that means I will never completely relax my guard. But that's okay too, that makes you a good parent, makes you a good filmmaker in some ways and so what we have to do is constantly put our own selves through a kind of, examination which says who am I? What is it that in Lee rejoices, am I on my own path? Do I realize there is no other path but my own to have, how do I escape the expectations of others and of the false expectations I have imposed on myself? If I can make that if I can make those steps away if I can free myself from all of the prisons and there are many, many prisons that are entailed in that, then I forged my own path. Then I have a way that is my own way. 

I can't tell you how to become a filmmaker because each person's path is their own. I do advise periodically evaluating yourself to determine if filmmaking is what inly rejoices. It takes a courage to realize and admit that you don't have something to say and filmmaking isn't for you. Make sure you put effort into self-evaluation so you don't waste your life on a dream that isn't really yours. Whatever you're doing, you'll know you're making a right step if you feel a spark of authenticity.

My mother died of cancer when I was 11 years old. It was like a grenade had blown up in our emotional lives. But it also triggered circumstances for me to find my true passion. Tragedy can provide the catalyst and courage to go forward and do things.

While creating my first film, I was living in New York and thought I'd have to leave my dreams and get a better paying job. Instead, I moved to rural New Hampshire to live on nothing and finish the film. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Documentarian & Filmmaker

We won't support your film. You're too young to be a filmmaker.

Family

Self-Reflection

Pushing Forward After The Death Of A Parent

I went to Hampshire College absolutely certain that I was gonna be the next John Ford or Alfred Hitchcock or Howard Hawks that my three favorite American movie directors at that point. And my film teachers were taking still photographs of what is and they were as advocation they were filmmakers looking at what Is, and they quietly disabuse mice. I mean they call it in Hollywood the industry I mean they put palm trees in silhouette over their stationery but it's just smokestack they turn product out and there was a very gentle reminder. What is it? Who are you really what is it that you want to do? Where does that emotional catharsis which, I originally experienced that inspired who you were. Where does that actually come from? Does it come from the five or six plots that Hollywood continually churns out? Sometimes, in the hands of great directors, you bet. And I would never say never to trying my hand at that. But more often than not, it comes from the plots of life. The things that are true that don't fit as easily into the categories of plot that in their ever lasting safety. Hollywood always returns to it's easier to do a sequel than it is to try something new. And I can remember feeling that and I can remember a moment when I was working on my first film that had been so informed by the genius and the vision of my mentor Jerome Liebig. And I was working on a rough cut and he came into this little electro closet that was our editing room, and he wanted to change something and I didn't and I resisted. And he pushed and then I resisted and he let go. And I suddenly remember this kind of moment of both. I've won but also the terror that I've just jumped out of an airplane with just a parachute that I was on my own now. That through everything that I had done up into that point had been a subset of who he was. And suddenly I had found something that was my own and I was sticking to my guns, however right or wrong it was. I don't even remember what the thing was, probably wrong. But he saw in me, that moment and he left me go. And it was terrifying and perilous and I didn't want him. And he and he remained friends and close mentor and advisor and critic to the very end of his life. Nonetheless, I knew at that moment that I was free and on my own and that's where you realize, you know, your molecules are rearranged? You know sometimes, as a scientist, you work with a scientist, you make a discovery, you help a scientist with a discovery, you then move on in this field. This is something like uncharted territory. It was almost like saying, here's your hat, here's your coat. See you later, lock the door, and I was on my own, and it was liberating. And I can tell you mostly absolutely terrifying. 

Character

Freeing Yourself From Constraints Is Liberating And Terrifying

Did any obstacles ever come up along your path? &gt;&gt; How much time do we have? So many, so many obstacles. Gosh, what can I say? I've had personal challenges, I've had professional challenges. I've worked on projects. The first time I ever went to Europe on a big business project, the company I was with acquired this business in Milan, Italy. And I'd really hardly ever been to Europe, I'd never been to Italy. And I was given the responsibility of leading the project to bring 500 Italians into a California company, and I didn't know anything. And I was scared, like scared, to the point that I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks. And I think I was having a little panic attack, and I finally went to my boss, I can't do this. Why did you give me this job? [LAUGH] This is really hard. And she's, what are you talking about? I thought you were okay. I was, no, I'm terrified, I don't know how to do this. I wanna do it right, I'm a perfectionist. And she's, that's okay, we'll get you some help and get you some support. Why don't you take a week off, come back to the States. So I came home, took breather, and got calm. But I think, gosh, this is inevitable that you're gonna face setbacks, I've had my fair share. When I was working at a company as my first startup job, it was a company called LinkedIn, and they were really small at the time, well, relatively small, 400. And at the time, I thought, I'd worked in mainly big companies most of my life, that it's going to be a walk in the park working in a small company. But what I didn't realize was that when you work in a big company, a lot of stuff's already been worked out, and your job is to kinda make it work better. And in a small company, sometimes they haven't built anything. And I'd only gotten really good at making things better. I'd never even tried to make something out of nothing. And once again, I was freaking out, I couldn't sleep for weeks, I was probably dealing with a little bit of depression. And so, through support network and being honest with my boss, I'm, hey, this is really hard. I'm worried, I'm nervous. He's, no, no, no, there's no one else we want doing this besides you, you're gonna be okay. That helped me get through it. I had a mentor one time asked me, I was working in Asia at the time, and again, I was afraid, I was nervous, I didn't know something, I thought I was gonna fail. And she said, Is there anyone you think could do this job better than you? And I go, no. She says, then what are you worried about? I'm, wow, I didn't ever think of it that way. I was, I wanna do this. She's, okay, well then, what can you do or learn, or what can you figure out, that's gonna make you feel more comfortable? 

I believe that who you know and how they can help you is more important than what you know. There will be times in your life when you need to ask for help, so having a good network of peers that can help and support you is incredibly important. Many people think asking for help is a sign of weakness, but it's actually a sign of strength.

I majored in history because I liked the subject but had no idea what I wanted to do for a living. When I was a senior in college, I became very stressed about graduating because I didn’t have any ambition towards a particular job.

I moved across the country to start my career in a field I didn't have much experience in because I wasn't sure what else to do for a living. It was a big change but it gave me much more insight into what I want in a career and what I don't want.

I was working in the credit department with my first company and realized it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, so I transferred into human resources and recruiting when the opportunity arose and ended up falling in love with it.

When I was starting my business, my children were involved in a horrific car accident and my work had to take the backseat for a while. Fortunately, because I was starting my own business, I didn't need to look to someone else to approve my time off.

I had a big international job for a company and severely doubted my ability to perform. I eventually went to my boss and expressed my doubts. My boss allowed me to take a week off to reset. It's okay to ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

I work with individuals and organizations to forge talent solutions. I help envision creative approaches to help individuals find success. This includes speaking to people and helping them to figure out their skills, interests, and passions and then speaking with companies to determine the type of employees they need to achieve more success. I also present at conferences on a variety of topics, including the future of talent, building high performing organizations, and building culture.

Founder & Talent Hacker

Doubt

Overcoming Challenges At Different Companies

You jump from one industry to another. Has there ever been a time in your career where you were afraid to make that jump? And if you were, how did you manage that? &gt;&gt; Yeah, every time. Every time you're afraid until you gain some critical mass and you kind of show yourself, well, I've took this step, and I went from auditing a higher education client to auditing some manufacturing company. I took that step, so, if I can take that step, then I can take this other step. So it's, kind of, building that critical mass and building that confidence in yourself. And the AICPA, The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, they have really good resources by industry in their industry manuals. If you're hopping into a different industry, whether it be an audit or whether you're looking at it from a career perspective, read that manual cover to cover and you'll gain a lot of insight into the kind of the key things in those industries. Another thing that's very important is you need to start building your library. If you are thinking about an industry, get the AICPA guide on it. Buy a legal book on it, and then any economic reports you can get on it. So a lot of those are free. If you kind of look at those three things, you understand how the legal framework works, how they recognize revenue, and then what's going on in the industry. Pretty good step ahead. 

The best way to pursue a career in accounting is to get a degree in accounting from an AACSB accredited university.

My dad worked in maintenance and repaired appliances on the side. He taught me how to work and I didn't really have an urgency to go to college beyond getting my AA. I received advice later on that pushed me to go to college for accounting.

I got my HVAC certification and was working in that field. I went to college for accounting and thought I'd get my degree and go back to HVAC until I got an offer from a Big Four company that set me on the corporate accounting path.

On most days, my typical responsibilities include coaching and cheering for my team, interfacing with other teams and leaders, and reviewing and interpreting accounting guidance and financial information.

Vice President, Finance & Corporate Controller

You shouldn't leave home to go away for school.

Confidence

Support & Encouragement

Gaining Knowledge In A New Industry As An Accountant

I majored in business because I thought it would benefit my family, and something I could maybe find fulfillment in. And so like to be very involved in my community I haven't because of fear but I want to. I guess like what can we do to be more involved in what we care about in our communities? &gt;&gt; Definitely join a community group where you feel that type of support system will be helpful. I understand that you can show up to a meeting and be surrounded by people and once you go home and you're by yourself, you start thinking and we start fabricating these stories in our head. And although that's really valid and your fear or your fears are valid, right. You just need to start showing up. You just need to show up. I've done a lot of things that scare me so much. I am really scared to go to law school. And I don't think I've said that out loud. So everyone just heard that. &gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; I'm really scared, because I know I'm good enough, but sometimes I've been thinking gosh, everybody there's really really, really, really smart. Just before this interview, I had to hop on a call with one of our attorneys. And you know what he was looking for me because we have, I can't go into details. But we have a settlement and the settlement can move forward without checking in with a community experts. I'm the community expert. I'm not an attorney. I'm the community expert. And I got on the phone with him. He said, I saw your Facebook post. Congratulations, you're going to law school. And I told him and I'm getting emotional by this. I just had this talk right before I interview with him. I said, I look up to you so much and I've been following your work for so long. And I'm so intimidated by you because I think you're so smart and he's like don't be, I'm just some regular person. I know that and I said Adrian, I'm really scared, I don't know him, so I don't know why I became so vulnerable with him. I guess I thought I have nothing to lose. And he's, of course people, you're going to be fine and I said, I need you to give me real advice. I need you to tell me what it's going to be like. Don't tell me it's going to be fine. And he said, okay, it's going to be really, really hard. He said, but don't listen to other people. You know why you're there. You got in and you're just as good as anybody else. And he's right. We are just as good as anybody else with an associate's degree or without an associate's degree from community college. With a community college degree or without it. We're just as good as anybody else and we're just as worthy. And so you just need to show up. And if you need to cry, you cry it out. And if you need to talk to someone and tell them I'm scared, you do that. Because you're not a machine. And if you don't know what you're doing, you go online, you look it up, you make a call even when you're afraid. And when you're afraid, so much goodness comes out of that. When things are easy. It doesn't taste as good when you see the final product, right? You just kind of become good at it. You're just like, okay, I'm really good at. I was really good at serving tables I could do with my eyes closed. It's until your challenge and you're uncomfortable that you can really grow. So you just need to show up. 

community-college
raised-by-single-parent
first-gen
dreamer

Don't be afraid to ask people for help and guidance. Always advocate for yourself and what you want. Do things that scare you and constantly seek to challenge yourself. Seek out community groups that can give you support.

I am a first generation immigrant, raised by a single mother, that experienced a lot of financial and housing inequality while growing up. As a result, we moved a lot.

The school system I grew up around had a lot of problems. I didn't have a lot of guidance when it came to applying for college. I was also a DACA student which limited my options.

I have been working since I was a teenager. As a senior in high school, I was working two jobs and saving my tips so that I could afford to register for community college. In addition to that, I was also helping to provide for my family.

I work primarily on environmental justice (EJ) issues by working with communities that are directly impacted. Here in San Bernardino, this community has been mainly been impacted by the logistics industry and goods movement. I organize and help educate community leaders on the issues in order to impact policy decisions. Our end goal through our various programs and initiatives is to build community power.

Organizing Director

You're an illegal immigrant, so you can't go to college.

Perseverance

Dealing With Fear When Pursuing What You Care About

So I'm always questioning, where do I fit? It's not that I don't know what I wanna do, it's that I wanna do so much. &gt;&gt; Yes, well, all of us have different talents. One of the ways that you can identify that is, what are the things that make you tick? What are those things that you feel good when you're doing them and all that. And then what are those things that tick you off? What is it that you pound the table over, that you stay up at night worried about? Those are the things that you need to help make a difference in. Don't be afraid, I think fear stops us from doing the things that we're passionate about. We're afraid of failure, we're afraid of rejection. Too many of us get so captivated by the fear that we are handicapped and we can't make that break. Don't be afraid. 

Tap into your passion(s) and don't let fear or negativity stand in your way. Fear stops us from doing what we are truly passionate about. Advocate for others and do your part to help where you can.

I left my secure job as a teacher with a weekly paycheck and retirement benefits in order to pursue my passion for humanitarian service. Out of this, I became a business owner and I've been able to pursue what I truly love.

Starting my own companies without any knowledge or experience on how to do so was definitely a challenge. We made a lot of mistakes, but you can't be afraid to make them. That's how you learn.

My work mainly involves being able to personally connect with communities and villages all over the world and develop long-term relationships in order to implement long-term solutions. I first have to listen to communities and their needs wherever I go. We don’t try to implement cookie-cutter solutions; we’re looking for buy-in from the community and have to educate them on lifestyle changes. I have to travel all over the world, fundraise, and work with volunteers.

Founder & CEO

You can't fix the water crisis. That's stupid.

Failure

Don’t Be Afraid Of Failure

A lot of students are often in a rush to grow up, and we think all of the worries kind of go away sometimes. But is there anything in your future that kind of scares you? &gt;&gt; I will say that worries never go away. You learn better how to live with them. And to deal with the voices in your head that say you can't do this, you're too young to do this, you're too whatever. You're not welcome here, you're not wanted here. And understand that's your insecurity talking to you and it's not real. I still have the same fears I did ten years ago when I was graduating. It's a constant worry. I think you just have to ask yourself the tough questions of like, where do I wanna go next? Was I happy? Do I wanna continue pursuing that? But you can try a bunch of different things. And I don't think anyone sees that as indecisive anymore, as opposed to really taking the time to find what you're passionate about and what your strengths are and what you love. Cuz I don't think anyone wants to hire someone that's just clocking in anymore. 

Find the people in your life that challenge you to do more and do better. Listening to them can be really helpful and motivating. Lean into your network and offer them support as well. Focus on the impact and the goal, don't get bogged down by the shallow social media and numbers side of this work.

While working at CBS, I ended getting up transferred into a different department that didn't end up suiting me and so I was laid off. It was a scary time, but ended up being the best thing that could've happened.

I put a lot of pressure on myself in the transition from college to the real world. I was really unsure about what I was doing and I wish I had enjoyed that time and explored my options more. I had to figure out what my strengths were.

Fear

Dealing With Fear By Breaking It Into Smaller Pieces

Dealing With Fear By Breaking It Into Smaller Pieces

John Jeffery

213 videos on Fear: